I first heard about Noviana Kusumawardhani or is more familiar with the name Bude Novi from a close friend. He is currently conducting several workshops with Bude Novi, who is well known with her tarot reading. To have a tarot reading session with her, you have to make an appointment a month before.

I consider tarot reading as a fun and entertaining thing. It’s not something that I take very seriously about and so making a one month appointment beforehand seems to be too intentional. But one day, another friend made me an appointment for me to see her. I couldn’t believe my luck!

Hmmm, maybe the universe just conspired for me to see her.. 🙂

I was really excited to see her and I’m glad that I did. It’s not because she said my future was bright and all. She just made me felt normal. She was able to see and describe what was going on in my life, the upsides and the anxieties without me having to blurt it out. It almost feel like she can read what has been going in my mind for the past months.

Lately, I have been juggling with anxieties, not because things are not going well but I feel that I can’t stop pursuing new things. I have this urge to always learn new things, go to new places, and just to try on a lot of different things. I end up doing so many things at the same time and too often I get overwhelmed. When that happens, I question myself constantly whether I’m taking on too much. I then get discouraged because I feel guilty not being able to focus on just one thing at a time.

Coming out of the reading I felt that I was assisted to take a step back and see my life from a distance. This enables me to see things from a different perspective. Instead of questioning myself constantly and then feeling discouraged by it, I should be grateful to even have the opportunity to learn new things. I am lucky that I have the support system, which is my family, that allows me to do lots of things and widened my horizon.

I don’t know where all this will end eventually, whether all the things I’m doing at the moment will be useful or have meaning in the future. But I try to remember what Steve Jobs said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever, because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path and that will make all the difference.”

I really do hope the things that I do now will have meaning somewhere along the way. In the mean time, I try to enjoy the journey as much as I can until the dots connect. Wish me luck!